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14 Steps to successful (?) bedmaking

 

 

            How many times have we feline fanatics have enjoyed spending more of our mornings than we meant to just trying to get the day started?

My son’s funny, quirky, almost overly playful, absolutely adorable cat recently took control of my entire household. In his quietly forceful manner he quickly readjusted the entire timeline of my day and that of his new canine sibling.

It took a few short days for me to realize maybe I did enjoy awakening at 5:30am, tooth brushing can be a group activity, fuzzy slippers crawl under the bed all by themselves and the dog has come to prefer sleeping curled in one tiny corner of his own bed.

Salem is probably not the only cat able to turn  any everyday chore which should take a few short moments to a twenty-minute play session, but he’s the only one I’ve had. I thank The Big Guy for bringing him to me to start my day with a smile during my biggest life upheaval.

I would like to share my hard-earned tips on how to complete and enjoy just one everyday chore…I’m still working on the others.

 

 

1.     Explain to the cat that you are the Human-he is the Pet, that you need to make the bed and he is welcome to lay on it after it’s nice and tidy, but needs to jump down now.

 

2.     Ignore ‘go ahead and try’ stance and gently take previously mentioned cat off the bed and place him in the other room.  See Exibit A below

 

3.     Go to pantry and spread treats around and behind chairs and trash cans hoping this will keep previously mentioned cat busy for a few minutes…HA!

 

4.     Futilely attempt to make it around the bed before previously mentioned cat makes it onto the opposite side in one leap, stretches out and snickers. Repeat above…several times. See Exibit B below

 

5.     Give up gently placing previously mentioned cat anywhere and attempt to gently push him off the bed. Thereby creating a flattened cat with flapping tail and claws firmly entrenched in the blanket. See Exibit C below

 

6.     Climb onto the bed and fail at attempt to lift previously mentioned 13-pound cat while removing claws from blanket.  See Exibit D below

 

7.     Clamber to other side of the bed, trying not to not mis-use the kings English as your right Hallux makes contact with the left bed post. Turn just in time to watch previously mentioned cat disappear under the blanket. See Exibit E  below

 

8.     Pull previously mentioned blanket from bed causing previously mentioned cat to roll off the bed, grabbing the pillow as he goes down and takes pillow with him.

 

9.     Go back to pantry and spread more treats.

 

10.  Try to throw comforter on bed and arrange pillows before previously mentioned cat returns…again HA!

 

11.  Smooth comforter wrinkles by reaching under fully stretched out previously    mentioned cat.

 

12.  Place only decorative pillow not knocked off the bed between shams and smooth decorative strip along bottom of bed.

 

13.  Unwrap previously mentioned cat from decorative strip and try smoothing again …several times… Then tell yourself a wrinkled decorative strip is a fashion statement. See Exibit F below

 

14.  Resist urge to smack sleeping previously mentioned cat with previously mentioned pillow.

 

 

 

Exibit A    


                                     Exibit B

  

                

 

                  Exibit C                                          Exibit D

                        

 

 

                

 

 

 

 

 

   

Exibit E 

                                          Exibit F 

       

                                              

 

 

  Exibit G 

                                         Exibit H

     

      

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UGH!!!

Trapped on the couch again! Had my driving foot sliced, diced, screws, nuts and bolts inserted by the worlds best surgeon. Will really set the TSA alarms off now! Only me, my trusty canine caretaker,

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